Around this time two years ago, at the ceaseless behest of my closest friends, I listened to Carrie and Lowell for the first time. It was a cold, gray, rainy Saturday where I was cooped up in my room, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the day to end. Just one of those days.
I didn’t take to it much at first – I thought it was boring and that every song sounded the same – but for some reason, I kept being drawn back to it. Before I knew it, I had a lot of the songs on repeat. I started loving the album for the same reason I had disliked it before. Instead of it being a boring listen, its simplicity has become oddly alluring. Stevens has found a formula that works and he stuck with it – just his sweet, soft layered vocals and acoustic guitar are enough to make me feel at home. Some songs also have the (welcome!) addition of barely-noticeable synth pads, but more importantly, the background vocals absolutely make some of the songs. On tracks like “All of Me Wants All of You,” “Should Have Known Better,” and “Fourth of July,” the backing vocals are simply angelic.
There’s a story behind the making of this album that should not be overlooked. The album is named after Stevens’ mother and father (Carrie and Lowell, respectively), and details his relationship with his mother and their summers spent in Eugene, Oregon. Stevens’ mother, while she was still around, was a troubled woman. Plagued with alcoholism, drug addiction, and schizoaffective disorder, she soon split up with Lowell and, over the next few years, in Sufjan’s words, did “not good things.” Sufjan never saw her again.
That is, until 2012 when his aunt called and said that Carrie was in the ICU with stomach cancer and didn’t have much longer – so Stevens had better get his goodbyes in now. The next few days were ridden with grief and nostalgia as he re-connected with his mother for the first time in decades.
Carrie died a few days later.
So Carrie and Lowell is a story of their disconnection and reconnection, of his grief, her love, and their past. It covers themes of self-harm, addiction, and codependency as Stevens explores his reality of being almost 40 and drowning in grief.
To those of you who prefer louder or more energetic music, Carrie and Lowell is not for you. Instead you will find an intimate record of whispered vocals, finger-picked guitar, and devastating lyrics, all wrapped in a deceivingly simple package. It might take a few listens, but I promise you it will be worth it.
P.S. The live version of this album is a wildly different experience (it might just be the loud, energetic music you are looking for!) yet equally fantastic experience. If you prefer synth-rock jams to acoustic, folk whispers, and you’re OK with live albums, give Carrie and Lowell Live a shot. I especially recommend “All of Me Wants All of You,” “Blue Bucket of Gold,” and the title track as fun highlights.
